Raise their hyeongjeeul some from childhood had someone psychological effects?

Problem by Desirae: What would be the psychological effect on someone who had to raise their siblings since they were a child?

I am 18 years old now and just graduated high school in June. Ever since I can remember I have always been the mother figure to my half brother since I was little. He was born when I was 5 and I have since then been a “mother” to him rather than a sister since my single mother always Worked to support us on our own.

Now my mother has had another child last year and I have been taking care of her. I bathe, feed, change, and do everything for her. I wake up with her and go to sleep with her. My whole day revolves around taking care of her. She is with me all day everyday. My mother and step father work long hours and come home to a house that I clean and have dinner made. Since I have graduated I had to quit college and my hopes to join the military or even get a job, to raise them both because my parents are “too busy” or “tired” to take on a parents responsibilities.

Lately I have been so frustrated and stressed that I have panic attacks when my parents argue and when I have to much to do or my siblings are away from me. In all I was wondering if this will have psychological effects on me when I get older or when I have children of my own.

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Most practical answer:

Answer by k b

That really depends on a lot of things. In my case, it has made me not want children.

Answer by Neil

Well, you highlighted it really well, you can feel exploited, especially when you’re being taken for granted.

That can have a lingering effect, but doesn’t have to be.

Everything in life is perception, yes, you’re being exploited by your parents, part of that will be ‘functional’ my guess to a certain extent they need to work, part of that is just disrespectful(they chose this setup, ‘too tired’ is not a real excuse anymore, they shouldn’t have had any more kids, if they wanted more rest).

Remember that, because that’s the biggest risk, that you’ll develop this automated response of letting people exploit you, and there’s no need for that, you can expect something back for your time, and effort.

That’s also something you need to talk to your Mom about, in a calm factual manner(which is key, you want to take the ‘mature-lead’ here), explain to her, that you can’t keep this up, it’s breaking you, so they need to find another setup, one that is easier on you.

If she then ‘raises the stakes’(throws a tantrum)(not all adults are very mature, and from your description I’m kind of expecting a tantrum), emphasize that you’re not saying you don’t want to do anything, but they’re asking too much from you right now, you’re not ready to be a full-time Mom, and it would be cruel for them to ‘break you’ just because THEY had another baby.

As an instant relief tip, take 15-30 mins to listen to calming music, with your eyes closed, and just breathe(the sensation of relaxation you’re looking for is like your ‘floating through space’), do that once, or twice a day, and your mind will be a lot calmer.

Understand or know good?

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Young Woman Mother with Daughter Girl

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Free picture of a young mother playing with her daughter girl outside in Gran Canaria. This picture was created by my funny friend epSos.de and can be used for free, if you link epSos.de as the original author of the image.

This single parent mom is parenting her young child as well as she can while her family business of motherhood is distracted by the playing of her daughter who is dancing in a costume for the Spanish Carnival de pequeños.

The woman seems to be happy with her girl.

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Raise their hyeongjeeul some from childhood had someone psychological effects?