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Dilemma made by L.Mack: How to find the origin of a quote?
I have a quote by Napoleon Bonaparte (“The future destiny of the child is always the work of the mother”) that I’m using in an essay, but I have to reference it and I don’t know where it’s from:
does anyone know of a way e.g. a website, etc., to find the origin of quotes? Thanks!
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Query from Anonymousgirl: How do I handle this awful customer again?
I work as a front greeter and the other day a lady came in who seemed nice enough. Little did I know, everything she had to say was racist, and then she started telling me that she “could be my mother” because we are from related, but distant ethnic backgrounds. She then told me who I’m allowed to marry and date and who I’m not allowed to. THEN, she goes off and says how much she hates Americans and then acts all sweet to my coworkers, who are all white!
This lady came in again a day ago and was very upset because in truth, she failed to take the necessary steps to ensure that she’d have a room (I’m in a hotel). We were nice and apologized and tried to explain to her what happened, however she became irate and then kept telling me that I should know better. And then she kept calling me “her kid”. Seriously this woman is imbalanced– we all think so along with the manager (who had to set her straight). How do I deal with her again, this is my last week? I’ll attack her! What do I do?
This lady also called us all liars and claimed that because she took a psychology class, she could see right through us. And then she keeps calling me “honey” and then tried to escalate the situation into something a lot worse. The first time I met her, she revealed a lot of her personal life to me which was really inappropriate and then kept telling me that because we’re of similar backgrounds, I needed to listen to her and do what she says. No offense, but I already have a mother. This lady was really stressful to deal with. And then she went so far as to tell me to break off my engagement with my fiance because he’s a different ethnicity, because “it was for my own good”.
How am I supposed to “let it go” when last night as I was leaving, she tried to follow me to my car? The manager stopped her by pretending to need to ask her a question. Seriously this lady really needs help.
She was the one to ask me if I was engaged because I’m wearing a ring– what was I suppose to do, lie? I didn’t answer her question when she asked me what his race was, but that was enough to get her to assume.
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Answer by P J So what’s the big deal. smile and think about your favorite song or something.
Since this is your last week, get over it.
You will never take bigotryy out of some people and this one just seem imbalanced to begin with.
Answer by vicpil you have only got a week to go
just suffer it once more, dont kill her you never know she might be a under cover customer, trying to see how well you cope with her
do your work collegues know how you feel and that you have nothing to do with her
part of your job (unfortunately) is to put up and shut up, just let her get on with her obviously unhappy life, if she was happy she would leave you alone
best wishes
1 week to go and counting
xxx vici
Answer by acmeraven Pick up a few phrases in a foreign language and pretend you don’t understand english. Have a co-worker in on the plan and ready to step up to bat while you play the poor foreign worker with no english.
Answer by Steph I agree, you should just let it go. You don’t have to keep dealing with her since this is your last week. There are some really unbalanced people out there and this lady is definitely one of them! Just thank your lucky stars that she’s not your mom!
I know these people are hard to deal with, just keep your chin up!
Answer by lil ole me First off, stay calm, stay cool and YOU can remain in CONTROL. When she starts up again, I would reiterate to her that 1 … I am not your “kid” and 2 … I am not your “honey” … explain in simple terms that you are trying to work with her to meet her needs, if she continues to be a royal pain … refer her to management … that’s what they get paid the big bucks for … DON’T put yourself in a bad situation … because by allowing yourself to get too involved leads to nowhere but trouble. And who needs that?
Answer by DrIG Do not attack her.
You stated that this was your last week. You probably will never see her again.
Look for the good side in people, although in this case if may be hard to find. believe it or not, at least at certain times she was trying to be your friend and to help you.
Learn not to take certain things so seriously. You do not see this “lady” at school or a t home. Take it as the rantings of a person who means nothing to you.
Forget about it.
Answer by Tamara K You only have one week left, so you want to be able to leave the job gracefully.
I would just try to gracefully push her through the steps. Like if you walk her up to the front desk, keep walking, don’t stop. If you are supposed to be taking her reservation and she starts to get irate, just smile and say “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’ll be able to help you with this. Let me get the manager.” And then let him/her deal with it. Try not to agree with her, just look at her blankly, and when she pauses, say I’m sorry we’re so busy today, what can I do for you right now? Polite but firm. Treat it like a crazy TV show you can tell funny stories about later!
Answer by Orchideye You’re absolutely right, this lady DOES need help. And it’s rather stupid that she thinks you’ll go along with what she says because you’re of a similar heritage– I hate it when people do that.
I do agree with one poster who said to tell her next time that you aren’t her “honey” or her “kid”. Who does this lady think she is? First of all, it’s understandable that everyone has bad days and partially rants and takes them out on inappropriate people and circumstances. What’s NOT appropriate is extending to the point of what this lady is doing. I could totally understand if you had said she ranted and then said she had a bad week and so forth, but it doesn’t look like she did that.
You know what, I think you are allowed to defend yourself mentally and physically. I work in mental health and unfortunately a lot of people can get like this and I’m not afraid to defend myself appropriately as needed. Everytime she goes off on you, what I would do is interrupt her and tell her she needs to do something. For instance, if she is checking in, interrupt her each time and say “oh I’ll need you to do this, thanks” or “oh you gotta sign here”.
Just because you are doing this lady a service does not mean she gets to disservice you. Next time she rants, ask her if there’s something you can help her with, and if there isn’t, tell her if she doesn’t need help, you have work to get done. Don’t let her ruin your last week.
Answer by redvelvetflames4ever I have to assume you did have a conversation with this woman since she knows your fiance is of a different ethnic group so you opened up that can of worms. Other than that the fact you have only one week left at this place (thank goodness) you won’t have to deal with her much longer. Obviously your manager did step in to your defense (I’m shocked and pleased since that is unheard of in your industry.) The fact she actually tried to follow you to your car is really disturbing and I would threaten to call the police. No need to attack her and since your manager is obviously on your side I would excuse myself and walk away. It’s not job related right? So no need to entertain anything she has to say.
Answer by Great Scott Inform her the next time she says or does anything even remotely threatening you will call the police and file for a restraining order.
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Challenge written by Adopting Parent: Can maternity leave be used for the adoption of a child?
We live in PA and we are being told that my wife is not eligible for paid maternity leave because we are adopting a child. The HR department says maternity leave only applies to the birth of a child. My contact in my HR department and our adoption agency is saying that maternity is defined as the “act of becoming a mother” and the state of PA and federal government do not distinguish between the birth and adoption of a child. Can someone give me somewhere to find information to prove this? Thanks.
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Answer by Ernest My would they give her leave for that. By that logic I should be able to take a leave to go pick up someones trash they do not want. Which is what you are doing.
Answer by H****** If she did not give birth, she has no need for a postnatal recovery period
Answer by Susan Research your state laws because from what I remember here in Ohio, my husband was allowed to take leave when we adopted our daughter. It’s not about recovering after birth – it’s about bonding with a child without interruptions. Do not let this go with your wife’s company because it sounds like they aren’t being totally truthful. If you’re already working with an adoption attorney, this would be a great question for them.
Answer by Every set of maternity leave rules are different.
Answer by cricketlady It probably depends on the state—here you can.
Answer by Candj315 In NY fathers can take a maternity leave… why shouldnt adoptive moms be able to… caring for a NEWBORN is the main reason for taking a maternity leave not the actual pregnancy/birth/healing… if that were the case it would just be a medical leave.
Answer by rat I looked quickly and found mostly things like this:
Where I am, there is no state law requiring employers to provide paid maternity leave. That means that it’s up to individual companies if they want to offer a benefit or not. Most companies in my state do not offer maternity leave because pregnancy and recovery time after birth are covered as a short term disability. Should an employee want more time off than STD covers, they can take unpaid time off under the Family Medical Leave Act and their job will be safe for them to return to. That’s it. So where I work women need a doctor’s note saying they are too ill to be at work and they will receive up to eight weeks of 60% pay. I adopted, was not disabled, and took my time off as unpaid leave. I adopted older children who adjusted to school & our family very easily so I went back to work earlier than planned.
Can you get a copy in writing of your wife’s company’s maternity leave policy? That would be the place to start.
Answer by TerraMere Federal Family Leave allows for federally protected leave for birth of a child and adoption of a child however it is not necessarily paid. Some states require some minimum payment during family leaves and in those states that do not, some companies choose to provide some period of payment even though it is not required. Federal law does however require that employees eligible for family leave be allowed to use any accrued vacation, sick pay or the like.
Answer by 愛莉 福井 Parental leave is an employee benefit that provides paid or unpaid time off work to care for a child or make arrangements for the child’s welfare. Often, the term parental leave includes maternity, paternity, and adoption leave. Often the minimum benefits are stipulated by law.
Answer by Cam No, instead you would want to look into the FMLA:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_leave
As you can see it covers the adoption of a child.
Answer by it’s momo, b!tch GIVE ME A BREAK.
She’s not giving birth. Guess what the word “maternity” means? It has NOTHING to do with adopting a child.
She does NOT need maternity leave because she is not the one that is pregnant and pushing a baby out of her vagina. GET OVER IT.
Answer by Erin L TerraMae is right. Your wife’s company is probably required to allow leave, but it doesn’t have to be paid. When we adopted, the school district that I worked for gave 6 weeks leave for giving birth or adoption. It was not paid, though, although we were allowed to use sick days. Then I was able to take another 6 weeks off with FMLA because my daughter had a surgery, again not paid but allowed to use sick time. I ran out of sick days after 10 weeks, so I had 2 weeks that were unpaid. All in all it worked out well, and we NEEDED the time. And good lord, I can’t imagine a woman who has given birth and adjusted to a newborn is ready to go back to work after 6 weeks. Our country has such crappy laws for families.
Answer by jerrica im not sure on where you can get information about it at but i presonally think that a person adopting a new born baby should get materity leave. best of luck!
Answer by Jillian She has nothing physically to recover from so no, she should not get maternity leave. The only “act of becoming a mother” she did was sign a piece of paper.
Answer by Raven Maternity leave was granted to women who give birth to children so they could heal. Your wife is adopting, she has no need to heal from that process so giving her maternity leave would be a total waste of resources for the company.
Unless your adopting a foster child in need of help during an adjustment period I don’t see why she needs time off…
Answer by Vanessa Why should they? They haven’t given birth and don’t need to heal, which is why it is called MATERNITY leave… Unless they are delusional, as so many adopters are and feel that they actually give birth to the child they covet, therefore should take that for themselves too.
Answer by gnsmith1970 Wow. Now I really appreciate how lucky I am to live in the UK – with the entitlement to a year off work (6mths paid, 6mths unpaid) as maternity leave, whether it relates to a biological or adopted child. The government pays a statutory minimum and most companies choose to pay some more on top. Your laws sound harsh….
Answer by Yellow It all depends on where you work’s benefits with time off.
Answer by scorpio_queen_2003 I live in UK and would get the same rights as a mother who gave birth- i mean,you still need to bond and get to know the child!!! And surely the child needs time too,i mean why adopt a child and stick it straight into childcare?
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Dilemma courtesy of NoOffenseToMuslimsOrXians-NotToImplyOffendability: Any ladies with emotionally impaired boyfriends/husbands?
I mean serious socio-emotional disorders.
Aspergers, ADHD, bipolar, schizophrenia,etc.
I don’t just mean “Oh, he’s so awkward, he must be retarded” I mean like actual diagnosis.
BQ:When/where/how did you meet them?
BQ:How old were you and how old are you now?
BQ:What were they like?
BQ:Why did or didn’t it work?
BQ:Does this q interest you?
BQ:Do you feel you have to “mother” them?
BQ:Do you admire them or just feel bad for them?
That is certainly about Any ladies with emotionally impaired boyfriends/husbands? which you can should really solve complications individually. With a little luck it will help in many ways, and making yourself considerably better. With the expectation about Any ladies with emotionally impaired boyfriends/husbands? could very well be the most efficient over the years. Most practical answer:
Answer by Mrsex u sex girl
Answer by Schrödinger’s Cat (Curly Headed F*ck) My boyfriend has severe anger issues and I think he has schizophrenia or schizophrenic tendencies because he revealed to me that he hears voices sometimes. But he does not want to see a therapist. He had a therapist in high school for his anger and really aggressive behavior. And he has had bouts of serious depression that have lasted for a few years.
BQ: He is a friend of my brother’s. I met him because he would come to my house a lot to hang out with him and we were at the same high school.
BQ: I was 14 when we met. I am 19 now.
BQ: He was always pretty quiet. He makes a lot of sexual jokes. I had not seen him angry until I got in a relationship with him, but I have heard stories. He has been in a few fights. He attempted to break a guys neck and throw him into traffic in high school. In middle school, he round-house kicked a guy in the face and broke his nose. He was arrested once for making a joking note to rape a girl in high school. It was one of his friends, and she knew he was joking, but a teacher found it and that’s why he needed to go to therapy.
BQ: It’s still working now. He’s less aggressive than he used to be. We have been together for over a year.
BQ: Yea.
BQ: I don’t think of it as mothering. When he is angry, he often needs help being regulated. And I don’t mind talking to him and remaining calm when he is angry. I want to help him, so it’s never a bother.
BQ: I admire him. I am proud that he is doing better than before. A lot of people have said that I have changed his behavior in many positive ways. He’s a lot happier now than he was before he met me.
Answer by ♥pнoѕpнereѕcɴeт ɢlow♥ Anger issues, but I don’t think it’s a diagnosis.
BQ- School
BQ-13 and 13
BQ- Uh…don’t get the question
BQ- I hardly ever see him. I tell him come visit me and he don’t so, I’m single for the summer
BQ- No, sometimes
BQ- Admire
Answer by Kei I’m dating a sociopath.
BQ:When/where/how did you meet them?
- Freshman year of high school.
BQ:How old were you and how old are you now?
- We were 15 when we met; we’re 19 now.
BQ:What were they like?
- He was cautious, but flirtatious with me.
BQ: Why did or didn’t it work?
- It’s still workin’.
BQ:Does this q interest you?
- I guess.
BQ:Do you feel you have to “mother” them?
- Yes; he really enjoys it, seeing as he never got any attention as a child. He was severely neglected/abused by both parents all his life. He has a lot of unresolved issues, so I try to help him the best I can.
BQ:Do you admire them or just feel bad for them?
- It’s a mixture of both.
Answer by Elisa Hernandez My boyfriend is bipolar.
1.November 20 2010, metro mall, me and my friend were yelling at guys that we liked them n i hocked my friend up with his friend and my friends hocked me up with him (my best friend dated his best friend).
2.I was 13 and now i’m 15.
3.He was sweet and shy.
4.It’;s working because we love each other and work out his problems (trusting me).
5.yeah kinda.
6.No he has a mother but i do keep him out of trouble n take care of him better then his mom.
7.I admire him we have been throw a lot in our life’s n were going throw Altot together.
