Why a man to give up his baby “birth mother” to perform the same task, the deadbeats, but she was a woman?

Question basically by J: Why are men who abandon their child called deadbeats but women who do the same called “birth mother?

Why are men who abandon responsibility to their child called “deadbeat dads” or sometimes just “sperm donors” but women who do the same are “birth mothers”. If a man doesn’t want to raise his child he’s insulted but if a woman doesn’t want to raise her child she’s told she’s being selfless and doing what’s best for the child. Why are women lauded for abandoning their children and walking away for all responsibilities but men are castigated?

A woman can easily decide to give her child up for adoption without the father’s input, she can simply lie about paternity, claim rape or say she isn’t sure of the father. If she goes to another state (Utah!) he won’t stand a chance. If he does find out it is an expensive up-hill battle to fight for the adoption to be disrupted and often will result in nothing more than heart break and never ending legal bills. Yet she’s a strong woman doing what’s best for herself and her child. Completely selfless. A “birth mother!”

On the other hand if the father doesn’t want to parent but the mother does he has no say in the matter. He’s put down and degraded. His opinion doesn’t matter, he should have just kept it in his pants! (You know, because women can’t be held responsible for such things as unplanned pregnancy. Birth control is far too complicated for our small feeble minds, let alone discretion in choosing our partners).

I’m certainly not saying it’s right for men to abandon their children (or that adoption is wrong for that matter), I just fail to see why men want no part in their child’s lives are deemed losers while women who feel the same are saints.

So, again my question is why are women who abandon children because they aren’t ready to parent selfless martyrs yet men who do the same are selfish bastards?

This really is with information Why are men who abandon their child called deadbeats but women who do the same called “birth mother? that you could be would need to fix problems personally. I really hope this will assist you in many ways, to create yourself much better. Thinking with information Why are men who abandon their child called deadbeats but women who do the same called “birth mother? could possibly be an answer to come back.

Solution:

Answer by Sammy Gabbie

So many on here even call them mothers, not birth mothers.

But in reality, there is a name for the women you describe when they are that bad. It’s worse than “deadbeat”.

Men who don’t want to parent need to keep their pants zipped. Same goes for women who don’t want to parent.

Giving up for adoption is NOT abandonment. Not even close. If the woman doesn’t want to parent, but the man does, then she needs to sign away her mother card, and he can be the only parent. Women giving a child up for adoption is usually for the best interest of the child. It is done to give a child a better life. When a man doesn’t want to parent, he also often has other kids he refuses to parent, won’t keep a job, and Heaven only knows why women want to make babies with him.

Answer by Joyce

I’ve been reading over this forum occasionally for some time now and the tone is decidedly anti-male. They’re are some very bitter and very jaded souls around here. Wish I could give a better answer but I don’t think there is one.

Answer by Baby boomer rock fan

Actually, a deadbeat is someone who wants to retain parental rights, but refuses to pay child support. Parents who surrender for adoption aren’t deadbeats, because they aren’t trying to exercise control over a child they no longer support.

Answer by Sarah

You’ve missed the point completely. Birth Mother is a term used to describe a woman who has given up her child for adoption, not a woman who has abandoned her child. Adoption is NOT abandonment, that’s actually a very offensive thing to say. You’re comparing women who give their children up for adoption to women who just leave their unwanted babies out in the cold somewhere to die, it’s not the same thing, not at all. Also their IS such a thing as a Birth Father, they’re not referred to as “sperm donors”. A woman who left her child with his/her father and disappeared would not be called a Birth Mother, she would still technically be the child’s legal mother. Mother’s who give their children up for adoption are usually doing it because they think that someone else can give their child a better life than they can, which I personally don’t agree with as nothing is stronger than a mother’s love. However these mother’s are only thinking of their children’s best interests, they are not “abandoning” them.

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Mother and son / Une mère et son fils

Reputation in Mother and son / Une mère et son fils

Title / Titre :

Mother and son / Une mère et son fils

Creator(s) / Créateur(s) :

Peterkin, Mrs. Ruby Gordon

Date(s) :

1916

Reference No. / Numéro de référence :

PA-149867

Location / Lieu :

Unknown / Inconnu

Credit / Mention de source :

Canada. Patent and Copyright Office / Bureau des brevets et du droit d’auteur; Library and Archives Canada / Bibliothèque et Archives Canada; PA-149867.

Why a man to give up his baby “birth mother” to perform the same task, the deadbeats, but she was a woman?